“Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife; and they shall become one.”
Key one: Balance: In order for a team to function fully there must be balance within the players. If one player is out of balance the entire
Key two: Help-mate and Cheerleader. June and I got a special laugh with this characteristic. June was a cheerleader in college and I played basketball. You could say she was my cheerleader before we met and continued throughout our lives. A key characteristic for a
“When you stop laughing, you stop living.”
Key three: Communication is the breakfast of champions. Early in our marriage, on more than one occasion, I have come home and quickly realized, “something was wrong.” The doors to the cabinets were closed a little harder, the silent treatment prevailed. “Honey, what’s wrong?’ As a cabinet door closed with authority, a voice louder than usually said, “What makes you think something is wrong?” Perceptions become reality and the lack of communication creates an atmosphere of uncertainty. Earlier in our marriage we started to have “family meetings” just the two of us. We agreed we would sit down and discuss whatever was ‘bothering us’ with complete honesty and openness. At times this was difficult, and learning to say “I’m sorry,” was equally difficult. However, with time the process paid huge dividends. It is good to end everyday with a time of reflection and discussion. It is noteworthy that either June or I could declare we needed a family meeting. Out of this process we developed a policy to over communicate– the breakfast of champions.
“Marriage is not tied with a bow, but it’s still a gift.”
Key four: Courtship: what was it that caught your eye about your spouse? Was there something intriguing? What created that spark in your heart? What was special about the chemistry between the two of you? It has become my responsibility, as the husband, to be sure those
“No one stays in love by Chance, it is by WORK”
Key five: …..and they shall become one. June and I represented two distinct cultures with varying exceptionalities. A young lady spending her formative years in an urban environment in New England and a young man who had spent his formative years in a rural setting in the South were unlikely candidates for marriage. Geography was not the only difference. Customs and traditions were different and at times clashed.
Neurologically we are born with certain ‘bents’ that form many of our personality traits. As a student of the behavioral sciences with
The word intimacy conjures up several thoughts and the one that immediately appears is sex. While sex is a part of intimacy it does not represent the totality of its meaning. I’ve heard it said that intimacy means “into me you see.” I love this definition because it paints a clear picture of what is happening when two people are intimate. Intimacy is the acceptance of your mate for who they are. In so doing you begin to build upon each others’ strengths. It means the sharing of each others’ dreams, wants and desires. You open up your heart and see deep inside one another. In short you are in love.
The list of key factors that have contributed to 50 wonderful years of marriage could be expounded and made into a novel. Suffice it to say that both June and I frequently say; “You are the best thing that ever happened to me and I love growing old with you.”
………and the greatest of these is love.
Uncle Gary and Aunt June,
Congratulations on 50 wonderful years together. I have so many wonderful memories of visiting in your early years of marriage. I loved your post. I will share with Larry tonight. We will be celebrating 37 yrs on March 17th.
Love you both!
Lynn